“It would be great to establish the largest religious movement in the history of the world and be canonized as the ones who were there when it all started, but who are we kidding?”

“Please completely ignore your problems so you can focus on mine!”  

“We are confident we aren’t in any way opening our doors to the Antichrist!”

“I worship at the altar of pretentious, aesthetically unappealing eighties stage musicals!”

Be a Good Writer…? Not Lose My Mind…? Survive the Second Trump Administration…?

“I have awoken again in the 1929 surrealist short film Un Chien Andalou and a Garfield comic. I hate Mondays.”

“Sifting through the detritus of half-remembered bands and musicians brought tears to our eyes and shudders of embarrassment as we realized, ‘Hey. I had that album.’”

“Enjoy those adorable civil rights of yours while they last!”

“My limited power as head of this Fortune 100 conglomerate only allows me to do so much.”

“Joining this group essentially requires an outright dismissal of dignity and self-respect.”

The answer could be both!

“This deranged barbecue committee has declared itself the authority on all barbecues…?”