Thank you for your interest. Unfortunately we are not taking submissions at this time (sorry for the deception), but it’s on our to-do list.

When we’re ready, we’ll provide the necessary information here, on our main page, and all other relevant sections.

Stay tuned, and please do not use the “Contact Us” form above for submissions.

A few things to keep in mind…

1. We’re interested in socio-political satire related to things such as current events, regressive social trends/movements, public figures, and so on. Despite this, we don’t publish fake news in the same vein as The Onion or other sites. Our material is also not strictly socio-political. We’re open to absurdism, slice of life stuff, and anything that pokes fun at this wacky existence of ours. Please read our existing material to get an idea of what we do.

2. We are only planning to accept articles, listicles, open letters, and the like. We are not planning to accept legitimate editorials, essays, or nonfiction. We are also not accepting cartoons, photographs, or other forms of visual art. We may change our minds on some or all of this in the future, but when the time comes, please only send us written satirical work.

3. There will be no word minimum. If you have an idea for something that would work with only a few dozen words or less, we’d love to read it! We will impose a one thousand word maximum on submissions, and will generally gravitate toward pieces between five and eight hundred words or less. Anything over one thousand words will not be considered for publication (sorry).

4. You will retain the rights to your work and are free to submit it elsewhere after publication on The Flak. We respectfully request that you credit us on any future publications, ideally with a link.  

5. Don’t worry about enclosing a bio, picture, or relevant links with your submission. We’ll contact you about this if we decide to publish your work. And yes, a wacky dada-esque portrait is required! Indulge us, we’re weird like that. And we’ll help.  

6. We welcome and encourage submissions from persons of color, LGBTQ+ individuals, disabled persons, and pretty much anyone and everyone. Our socio-political bent veers decidedly to the left, but we certainly don’t oppose submissions from people of more conservative mindsets. Just be aware we won’t be as inclined to publish it. 

7. We will not consider submissions that delve into legitimate endorsements of violence, discrimination, racism, misogyny, body shaming, homophobia, transphobia, ableism, or anything else of that ilk. For example, we are more than happy to look at something that blasts Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s conspiracy theories and flatulent fundraising gala (yes, really), but not something that mocks the sound of his voice due to spasmodic dysphonia.   

8. So what specifically are we looking for? We know it when we see it. Send it to us (when we’re ready) and we’ll do our best to get back to you one way or another within one to two weeks at most. Please be patient, as we employ a very small staff. 

9. Please refrain from sending us any follow up messages on the status of your submission, or requests for feedback if we decide not to take it. We’re sorry, but we just don’t have the bandwidth to reply to these. If we require further information from you before, during, or after publication, we’ll let you know. Here’s a handy article you can adhere to regarding the submission process. Apologies in advance if you hit a paywall.  

10. Please limit your submissions to no more than two at a time. Please also wait until we reply to both, or after the aforementioned two week period before submitting again.  

11. If you don’t hear back from us after two weeks, you can assume we aren’t going to publish your submission. Nothing personal, and please, feel free to submit to us again. Please do not send us the same article more than once unless it has been significantly rewritten. Use your best judgment. We trust it.

12. We won’t be able to pay contributors for published work, but this is on our to-do list as well. Please bear with us and stay tuned.  

13. We’re planning to expand our work to include a regular newsletter, podcasts, and more as we get ourselves established. We’re going to need your help, and your submissions when the time comes. We’ll let you know. 

14. We’re attempting to build a robust, supportive network and community of collaborators through The Flak. We want it to be a welcoming and respectful environment, so please keep this in mind as you work with us, and (hopefully) lend it your own unique distinctive voice.  

15. We’re looking forward to reading your work!