QUIZ: Who Declared it “Mine,” My Pembroke Welsh Corgi or Former President Donald Trump?
NOTE: The answer could be both!
A wide array of toys.
The second-largest stockpile of nuclear weapons on the planet.
A spot in a circle of friendly neighbors and their dogs during a routine walk.
A photo op in front of a church in Washington D.C. holding an upside-down Bible while Black Lives Matter protestors are tear-gassed just out of view.
My underwear.
My wife’s underwear.
An excessive amount of fur from year-round shedding.
An excessive year-round deficit from tax cuts for the wealthy.
Our apartment.
The White House.
Buckingham Palace.
The sovereign country of Greenland.
The title of “cutest pet” in an online contest to raise money for an animal rescue group in New York.
The title of TIME Magazine’s “Person of the Year” for a self-tribute exhibit at his home in Florida.
A place on the wall of our local coffee shop alongside cute pictures of other neighborhood dogs.
A place on Mount Rushmore, a monument created by a white supremacist, alongside other white supremacists.
Anything that literally has his name emblazoned on it.
Anything I drop on the floor.
Anything he can fit in his mouth.
Anything that can be flushed down the toilet.
Anyplace he occupies.
Anyplace he urinates.
Anyplace he defecates.
Permission to join someone’s party, wedding, or any other event held at a place he happens to be at the same time.
The attention of any woman he passes.
The genitals of others.
Seven hundred pages of classified government documents.
An overcooked steak.
Sacred Indigenous lands for the purposes of building an ineffective barrier against undocumented immigration.
An insatiable need for attention.
The love and approval of everyone.
An absurd amount of space in the bed I share with my wife.
An absurd amount of space in the bed he shares with no one.
An absurd amount of space on my social media feed with targeted ads driven by flawed algorithms.
An absurd amount of space in my consciousness at any given time.
My ability to read or watch something free of distraction.
The topic of numerous conversations with my therapist.
Victory in the 2020 Presidential Election despite losing by all valid, quantifiable metrics.
Eleven thousand additional votes in the state of Georgia.
A mob weaponized against Congress for the purposes of overturning the 2020 Presidential Election.
The 2024 Republican presidential nomination.
The presidency itself indefinitely with no term limits.
The future of the free world.
The future of life on this planet.
Our hearts.
Our sanity.
My ability to focus on the good.
Unconditional love.
Invaluable companionship.
Unwavering loyalty…?